Women in the Arena

Quit your day job (by text!), not your daydream and other declarations of independence with Nada Buhendi

January 10, 2023 Audra Agen Season 5 Episode 9
Women in the Arena
Quit your day job (by text!), not your daydream and other declarations of independence with Nada Buhendi
Show Notes Transcript

How many of you have felt drained by your life, your job and everything in it?  Did everything feel joyless at that point, although everyone around you thought you had it all?  What if everything you worked for wasn't what you wanted at all?

What would happen if you just stopped and quit?  That's exactly what this week's guest did.  Nada Buhendi had been working her entire life for things she didn't want, provided her no joy and worse...left her feeling empty.  She finally had enough and declared her independence in the most dramatic way...she sent her boss a text that said  she was done.  Her act of independence was the first action she had ever taken without thinking, she felt in her soul it was the right thing to do. 

Today's conversation with Nada is her journey from that dramatic defining moment of enough, through her trial and error of self discovery and how she built a business from the ground up to help others just like her. 


https://www.nadabuhendi.com/

Go check out all of our episodes on our website: https://womeninthearena.net/


If you are ready to tell your story or want to refer someone, please email me at audra@womeninthearena.net

***Last thing- I'd love to interview the following women:

  • Joan Jett
  • Dolly Parton
  • Viola Davis
  • Ina Garten

Maybe you can help me get there****


Thank you all for supporting this show and all of the Women in the Arena!!

 | Timestamp Speaker Transcript  |   |   | 
 | 00:00.90 audraagen Almost happens besides this comical beginning. Um  |  do you have any questions for me. Um.  | 
 | 00:08.69 Nada Buhendi Now I think we can just roll with it I didn't I Ah did I provide you anything I can't um  |  okay good I think you have everything you need from me right? all right? We we can just dig into it.
 | 00:13.13 audraagen I have it I have a bio for you? yes.  | 
 | 00:24.85 Nada Buhendi I'm I'm the kind of person who goes with the flow. So whatever you want to ask me I'll shoot and I know that you're going to edit this. So if I stutter or stumble or put my foot in the mouth feel free to cut it out. Ah.
 | 00:30.60 audraagen Yes I I will make you sound awesome I will make you sound absolutely awesome I'm just trying to get my collect my thoughts get myself together. Um  |  and we'll go with it so I'll come I will calm myself down. Do you have water next to you? Okay  |  perfect. It wasn't like nine 40 in the morning I might like go get wine but it's it's a little early.
 | 00:53.69 Nada Buhendi I Do I do I have my coffee I have my water I am all good to go.
 | 01:07.14 Nada Buhendi And I'm glad that we ended up doing this on a Friday because I got my period on Sunday and I was dying I truly was so I'm just coming out of it and I feel fine now. And yeah  |  you had your you know stomach bug and.  | 
 | 01:08.17 audraagen So good.  |   |   | 
 | 01:13.11 audraagen All just.  |   |   | 
 | 01:20.18 audraagen Good. It did and now we just have have comedy but it'll be it'll be great. It'll be great. So I'm gonna count us down and I'm going to roll into this.
 | 01:24.71 Nada Buhendi I had my period and here we are.  | 
 | 01:39.22 Nada Buhendi Yeah.  |   |   | 
 | 01:39.99 audraagen Are you ready? Okay  |  5 4 3 2 1 welcome and everyone and thank you for joining me again this week you know there are some people that you meet that they're like you know I really I really believe in you and they mean it. And some that don't while my guest today means it so much that she quit her job and created an entire company around it today I am joined by Nada Bu Hei and she is the Ceo of unleash your awesome. We need everybody to help us unleash our awesome. She did this because she knew that she could not thrive in the space that she was in so she created her own. It is my pleasure and my honor to introduce to you nada. Not a thank you so much for being here and welcome to the show.
 | 02:37.85 Nada Buhendi And thank you so much Audra it's a pleasure being here and I really believe in what you do as well giving women a voice and empowering them and very happy to be here.
 | 02:50.37 audraagen I am super excited that you're here because you did what a lot of a stream of you just went. That's it I'm done. This space is way too small for me I'm going to go create my own space and I know that that sounds simplistic and fair in a fairy tale but it's anything. But so before we jump into what unleash your awesome is and how to help people reinvent themselves and unlocking their own potential tell us about your story and why. Why it was important for you to make this leap.
 | 03:30.20 Nada Buhendi And yeah  |  thank you for asking that wow um  |  I'm in the middle of writing a book and it is definitely hard to pinpoint the significant moments in my life and describe them in a way. Where people can see how they led to where I am today a lot of people probably have seen or have heard of my story of how I quit over text. Um. And that is that was definitely a pivotal moment for me. But I think where all of this comes from is my childhood and um I had a very difficult childhood I grew up in the Middle East um I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and. There's no other way to describe this better but to say that it was kind of like being in a prison for the most part um from a physical sense where I could not make choices and I um lived with a I would say somewhat conservative. You know family and what that has and and it all it was also a metaphorical prison because there were all these pressures and expectations of my parents not wanting me to fail not wanting me to make mistakes that made me feel very trapped.
 | 04:59.13 Nada Buhendi And made me feel like an outsider. Um I grew up in ah  |  an environment that was somewhat religious and I did not buy into the religion. So I felt an outsider from that sense and then coming to Canada. It was a bit you know like I felt like I also didn't belong in that world because despite having lived here for 21 years People still ask me  |  you know where I'm from and and they associate me with being middle easter and even though I'm not able to relate to that culture anymore. So it kind of feels like I don't belong anywhere it it felt that way for for most of my life and a lot of the decisions that I made were based on what my parents felt were right so going into consulting and going for those high-paying roles. Going into engineering school. Those are things that I realized that I didn't want and it's what my parents brought me up to believe was the right thing to do and I pretty much lived my life being disconnected. From how I felt and who I was so that's why I say it was a metaphorical prison because I created the prison for myself and it was also a physical prison because not a lot of people realized that.
 | 06:27.74 Nada Buhendi Sometimes people judge other people's choices because they feel well you could have done this you could have gone gone out of the so the situation. Um  |  just to give you an example I was at a point where my father um held my passport hostage. And I couldn't even leave the country because of my father and with the laws you know at the time and I don't know if they've changed because I was under the age of 18 and I was also a woman if my father didn't want me to leave the country and go abroad and study then that's it. There's nothing I can do about it. And so I've been in in difficult situations that um weren't always by choice and I had to make the best out of it. Um  |  so when you're conditioned to feel that way. It makes it very difficult for you to you know  |  change your life and go after what you want and so. On that day when I quit over text it. It really was a buildup of all of what happened in my life of of being disempowered of being a female of feeling like you know I I couldn't do certain things. Um and you know when I started my business. It was definitely scary but it was exhilarating as well and seeing all of my client successes. You know people who achieve miracles in an interesting way. Even though I I have been the empowerer and the guy throughout the journey. Um.
 | 08:00.86 Nada Buhendi They were teaching moments for me to see that oh my goodness. What am I complaining about here. Why am I not trying hard enough I have a client who you know became an agile mentor and how he did that was without having a degree and. Putting himself in self-imposed homelessness by driving a truck and living out of it in order for him to achieve his goal and when I hear stories like that I just keep telling myself that there's no excuse you got to just go after what you want.
 | 08:37.15 audraagen Well I'm going to stop you there for a moment because you just told us a whole lot and I want and I want to make sure that we capture everything because that was a lot. Um  |  so first of all what you are from a very small country. Ah.
 | 08:52.26 Nada Buhendi Yes.  |   |   | 
 | 08:55.12 audraagen Where tell me again where you are from. So.
 | 08:58.79 Nada Buhendi So I am from a country called Bahrain. It is a small island in the middle east it is it neighbors. Um Saudi Arabia Kuwait the uayi and not a lot of people know. Bahrain we had Michael Jackson there at 1 point.
 | 09:19.41 audraagen Well that you you take that as your claim to fame but it's a it's a small country in a very old culture that is very controlling for women. It's a very patriarchal society and.
 | 09:28.36 Nada Buhendi Yeah.  |   |   | 
 | 09:38.53 audraagen You had not a whole lot of choices. But somehow you made the leap to leave the country and go to another one where you had choices but yet you were still being held captive by what you knew? what? you emotionally knew. And I don't think that's all that on unusual whether you're from Bahrain or whether you're from Queen Creek arizona not mentioning any names at all. But you know it's it's you you sometimes hold yourself captive because of the things that you know were the things you think you're supposed to be.
 | 10:05.32 Nada Buhendi Um  |  yeah  |  it.  |   |   | 
 | 10:15.62 audraagen And you sort of you. You ahset isolated me try this Again. You marinated in that identity for a while and then something switched in your head and when I'm done. And that compelled you to quit over text So Many of us have dreamed about that that have said that's it I'm I'm I'm done I'm gonna send them a text and I'm out but I'm sure that's not exactly what happened can you tell us what that experience was leading up to that. And what your head space was in that moment and what you felt like after you did it which I'm I'm imagining all kinds of things but I want to hear from you What exactly was in that moment in that space.
 | 11:12.90 Nada Buhendi By the way I do not recommend anyone quit over text their job just putting it out there. Ah  |  it's it's yeah  |  it's It's definitely not an endorsement. It's what I did and.
 | 11:21.35 audraagen So it's not an endorsement. It's just you didn't It's what you did.
 | 11:30.54 Nada Buhendi I Always believe that you know the way we act and what we do We all do the best we can do in that moment given what we've been through and what what we have available. Um I think it was a combination of.
 | 11:50.32 Nada Buhendi Emotionally I don't think I had the capability to deal with it in a much better Way. Did I have regrets in in in retrospect I have regrets in the way I approached it and the way I just. Send the text and said I quit but I also am happy that I left a situation that didn't serve me and I think the story that got me to that point and um.
 | 12:24.18 audraagen Um.  |   |   |   | 
 | 12:24.64 Nada Buhendi And you know it was like the the straw that broke the Camel's back is I was you know a consultant working for you know  |  a lot of consulting companies where it's a high-stress environment where it feels like you're working in a loft firm and. There's hazing and there's you know tests that you constantly have to take in order to prove yourself and and it's a highly political environment and it just didn't align with who I am as a person I'm a very laid back person I'm very down to earth I can be goofy I love to where. You know my heart on my sleeves and I've been in situations where I just you know be you know  |  just drop my books or whatever on my way to a partner meeting and I'd get feedback on you got to pull yourself together. You got to. Look more presentable. You got to behave a certain way. You got to behave with poise and it was just it was kind of like the way I could describe it. It's kind of like you know how maybe Prince Harry felt you know  |  being as part of the royal family and and he had to constantly put up these appearances and it was just so exhausting for me. Um  |  and just the the constant travel and the lack of work-life balance where I had to choose between.
 | 13:50.00 Nada Buhendi My career and my health you know at one point I lost half of my pancreas because I was so stressed and I was hospitalized.
 | 13:56.56 audraagen Oh my gosh. Yeah  |  that's not nothing half of an organ is gone because of stress.
 | 14:07.72 Nada Buhendi Exactly and I can tell you that it was stress because I did not have the typical characteristics of someone who goes through Pancretitis I was not overweight I was very skinny. Um. I was not an alcoholic I barely drank alcohol and it just didn't make sense and so when the doctors were trying to diagnose why that was happening. They could not put their hand on it and it was just obvious I was stressed I was stressed and. There are many studies that prove that when you put your body in a lot of stress you manifest physical illnesses and so that was eye-opening for me. Not to mention that you know  |  um  |  yeah.  |   |   | 
 | 15:00.75 Nada Buhendi 4 years into um consulting with 1 of the big 5 my mom got diagnosed with cancer and I grew up watching my mom work so hard and put her career first and talk about how you know you need to. Constantly you know  |  invest everything into your career and seeing my role model who's been pushing hard collapse in front of me that was my wakeup call and so all of that buildup to that point where. I was away. Um I was trying to get my I was trying to get my driver's license and I came back to the office and I I I was an agile coach at the time and all of my meetings were rescheduled by one of my colleagues.
 | 15:59.36 Nada Buhendi And I was I just felt so disrespected at that point in time and that like I mentioned was the um needle that broke the Camel's back and I just thought to myself. Why am i. Putting all this work and when when I don't feel respected I should just leave and so I just sent a text to my boss and I just said I quit and he was like question Mark question Mark question Mark and shock. And he said are you being serious in his text and I said absolutely I wasn't thinking I was an autopilot when I was doing that because if I was thinking I definitely wouldn't have done that I just went with how I felt.
 | 16:45.37 audraagen For how.  |   |   | 
 | 16:54.90 Nada Buhendi It was a long time coming. It was a buildup from being a child and being imprisonated by rules and my father and dissociating with how I felt and all of that just came together and I was like I'm done I can't live my life this way anymore.
 | 17:09.83 audraagen So even though it was the you were physically quitting your job. You were actually saying I quit all of this I quit being controlled I quit feeling not good enough I quit feeling like I should be something else I I quit I'm done.
 | 17:11.77 Nada Buhendi So.  |   |   | 
 | 17:29.56 audraagen I'm done I can't be somebody else's version of me anymore.
 | 17:33.51 Nada Buhendi Hundred percent I lived my entire childhood studying kids would play in recess I'd been the library reading books I spent all of high school. Just I don't know being tutored and preparing for exams college level exams and I never for a moment asked myself. How I felt about any of this I just did it. And yeah  |  and and all I and all the decisions were made through logic in my brain but not through my emotions and in that moment I think maybe combination of years of therapy and just. You life experiences in seeing the people around me suffer and my health suffer just was my wakeup call something in me just woke up and said maybe it is time that you do things based on how you feel and not just based on what you've been taught what was right.
 | 18:41.17 audraagen So you send this text which even though you said you weren't thinking you were going on autopilot and it was just straight up emotion I don't think what you recognize even today that part of the emotion that you were feeling was bravery. You probably didn't feel really brave at the time. But I'm telling you sitting in this spot hearing this story. It is brave. It was hugely brave because you chose yourself for the first time ever in your life in that moment and you did it in a very dramatic way even though you. You said that you don't recommend it and maybe not but what other choice did you have you didn't you had no other choice but to make your declaration of independence so as a result of that and the partner was like okay  |  she's serious what happened then. I mean you had this probably this ah this rush of adrenaline and then reality sits in so what would that feel like.
 | 19:50.51 Nada Buhendi So Eventually  |  you know my boss and I got on a call and um I remember the question he asked me was is this really it for you Kids I was here and there you know. Sharing that maybe I should leave or maybe I should be gone or um and when he asked me that question I was terrified because I realized that.
 | 20:25.31 Nada Buhendi If I whatever answer I provide I had to stick to it and I couldn't change my mind. You can't play games. You can't just be like you text over you text and you say that you're going to quit and then you know  |  go back. That's not how it works. So I remember saying yes and after I said yes  |  there was a so slight element of fear in me  |  but it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. And I think that was the next question that my boss asked me like how did you feel saying that do you feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders and I said yeah it does feel that way. But I'm scared I'm scared I'm not going to be able to find a job What am I going to do was close to Christmas time. No one hires during that period.
 | 21:12.62 audraagen Not typically unless unless it's for a retail unless you wanted to go you know sell soap.
 | 21:21.80 Nada Buhendi Yeah  |  most most um  |  you know organizations during that time employees go on vacation. There's no client work. It's usually a dead period until you know  |  probably mid-january. And I think it was around November when I sent that text and so we're talking like close to three months of unemployment.
 | 21:45.56 audraagen What did you do during that time during that three months I mean no income and nothing but your thoughts and your emotions likely for the very first time. Do you have this three month period of space. To figure things out. So what did that three month period look like.
 | 22:10.20 Nada Buhendi Well  |  it wasn't rosy I'll tell you that when I initially quit my boss was cheerleading me and and you know ah basically saying there's you should have no problem getting another job I mean my. Resume and bio is pretty stellar I've worked for blue chip organizations I've done so many things and so logically again on paper. It should have been no problem for me to find a job. Easy.
 | 22:43.98 Nada Buhendi And so I was out of work for about two months um
 | 22:53.12 Nada Buhendi And it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be I did lend a contract I think it was around maybe December January when or sorry January I believe when I landed the contract. Um. But it was another dysfunctional way of dealing with the situation. But then again  |  what choice did I have I needed to get an income so it was the same thing. It was the same thing over and over again and I felt like this was I just. did not understand. I did not understand um why I was having so much difficulty and I think the question that I did not ask myself or maybe was just too delusional to ask myself is could it possibly be that the reason that. I'm having so much trouble getting a job is because I can hide the fact that I hate what I do and I have no idea what else to do.
 | 24:01.18 audraagen Yikes there and I'm stopping you there because I wonder how many people that are listening right now can identify with what you just said because there is. There comes a point in your life if you dislike something so much. You don't have to say a word and you can see it all over you. You also put forth that energy out there and.
 | 24:19.48 Nada Buhendi And.  |   |   | 
 | 24:29.22 audraagen You deflect against you because you're you are pushing away what you don't want.
 | 24:33.87 Nada Buhendi Exactly people don't understand that and you know a lot of times people come to me and say yeah  |  the problem is my resume and my resume's not good enough hoof most of the time it's because. People are too afraid to go after what they want and they have trouble articulating it. So of course your resume is not going to be good because you haven't figured out what you want to do. And or you're terrified of telling the world that that's what you want to do and that is the reason you're good at it.
 | 25:20.14 audraagen I Actually identify with that statement right now because sitting on this side of the microphone as much as I love it is terrifying am not kidding. This is a there even though this is one of the joys of my life. It is also super scary doing this every single week because this is not what I'm trained to do This is not what I'm built to do This is not my education but it's something that I love and it's think it's frightening because. You don't want people to be critical of the thing that you love and that's probably why your clients come to you and say I've got issues I've got issues and this is it and you're like but your issue really isn't what you think it is.
 | 26:02.11 Nada Buhendi Yeah.  |   |   | 
 | 26:16.96 audraagen Your issue is is fear your issue is not your issue So You fast forward. You do this contracting work and then you decide I know what? I really want to do and you had this idea of unleashing your awesome. So How did your company unleashing your awesome come about. How did you start and what has the journey been.
 | 26:47.41 Nada Buhendi So I never thought that I thought I was going to be a career coach that never crossed my mind. Not even for a second. In fact  |  I worked with a career coach in order to figure out what I wanted to do. We looked at different. Types of roles like um learning consultant customer experience trainer a whole bunch of other things and none of them resonated with me I knew. Deep inside that I wanted to start my own business because I have deep entrepreneurial roots. My mom's an entrepreneur. My dad had his own practice. So I knew it had to be something that is owned by me. Because I've always been a driver and I've always had that business sense I grew up helping my mom build her business but I didn't know what it would be and so I surrendered to the idea of just being an employee. Um and I think. You know what happened was again I got another push from the universe like okay if you're not going to go out of your comfort zone. We're just going to shut everything down so that you do ah so you know I talk about it a little bit in my origin story that.
 | 28:19.95 Nada Buhendi You know it was January Third is when I got that big push and that was when um  |  in 2020  |  of course you know the world was shutting down but it was a couple of months before the world even knew that there was a pandemic I think I may have gone covid. I'm pretty sure actually that I did I was in the hospital and I remember the doctor saying to me that there's a virus going on in China maybe that's what you have they just she didn't just she she didn't have a name for it at that time. Um. So that day when I had a fever and you know my boyfriend at the time basically packed his bags and left me and I was unemployed again after my contract that also gave me another wake up call to go after what I wanted and. In my horrible state I got on a call with my career coach at the time and I basically said you know what my boyfriend left me I have a high fever I need to get a job right now and figure out my life. But by the way I don't love any of the jobs that we've been talking about and she just looked at me like that with a lot of like worry because now all the processes are out the door.
 | 29:45.28 audraagen Like if you if you delirious is it the fever.  | 
 | 29:53.60 Nada Buhendi They're all out the door. So how are we going to help her figure out what she wanted. You know all these exercises that we did all of that is out the door. Um  |  she did this meditation exercise with me in the hopes that maybe if we. Tackle the emotional side. It's going to help and she walked me through this you know meditation asked me where I imagined myself I would be I was just so checked out I I couldn't think of anything. And all I could say was that I wanted to be on a beach in Miami at the time I was dancing a lot of salsa and bachata and there's a lot of latin events there and so that's that's all I could visualize. It was really sad when I connected. You know with my career coach and um  |  she said to me I connected with her back in. Um April we met in person for the first time she said I was so worried about you that day I thought of calling someone for you. That's how much of a mess I was.
 | 31:06.96 Nada Buhendi And then the next day I don't know what it was it just all came together and all I knew was that I wanted to continue helping people in some way and that I wanted to coach them Obviously I didn't want to be a relationship coach. But. Ah  |  after what happened you know  |  but and I and I didn't want to be a life coach either I had no idea what I was doing with my life at that time but I knew that what I wanted to do. Help people in a similar situation that I've been where they feel alone where they maybe they're immigrants and they don't have a family around um and also I wanted to help people drive their career because I was sick and tired. Ah  |  letting organizations control that for me and I truly believe that the people who can guide others are the ones who have been in that situation and have been through that Difficulty. So I Realized that career coaching was for me at that point. Out of the 3 viable options that would be it and knowing that I had the support system from my career coach who's been there who can guide me who can give me the mentorship I felt that that was my Lily pad that was my next Lily Pad and I think that's an important concept for a lot of people to grasp.
 | 32:38.51 Nada Buhendi People always feel like they have to go from you know a to Z to to Z you know sometimes you have to go from a to B to C to D to E you know to get to where you want um and and just. Take advantage of the low hanging fruits and the resources around you and so that's that's basically what I decided and honestly I did not think that it would end up being a huge business. I Thought it was just going to be some freelancing I thought it was just going to be something I do on the side and it grew into something that ended up being exactly what I wanted to do that that I could shape into some into what I exactly. You know  |  wanted to spend my time doing.  |   | 
 | 33:32.60 audraagen Well when you and I had spoken before we got to know each other you said that you really like to spend the time helping people reinvent themselves and and I would I would challenge that a little bit and say I don't think you're helping them reinvent themselves at all I.
 | 33:42.20 Nada Buhendi He.  |   |   | 
 | 33:52.12 audraagen Think that you are giving people the permission because for whatever reason we all need permission. Don't know why it's cultural thing. Maybe the permission to unlock what their deepest desires are and and go for it. Because that's what you did Even though you didn't realize that That's what you were happening at the time. It's just that all the other options just seemed painful to you and you're just like I don't want to go backwards to Pain. So I'm just going to go for things that don't feel painful to me anymore and I think that that's what you do with your clients. Let's find out what doesn't give you Pain. What gives you joy and then let's take that step the next step and then the next Step. So What are your thoughts on that me challenging the idea of reinvention and really being the key that unlocks. All of that That's already been existing this entire time.
 | 34:55.92 Nada Buhendi Well I don't know if reinvention is the right word I think it is rewriting your story and I think it is about um  |  finding your people and. I guess that could align with with with reinvention. Um I definitely think that the person that I am today is definitely different than the person that I was twenty one years ago
 | 35:33.32 Nada Buhendi And that is a good thing you know because that shows growth. Um  |  and I think when people think of the word reinvention or think of the word career transition or pivot. They almost. The misconception that people have is that you have to completely change as a person and it happens overnight and I feel that one of the biggest pitfalls of human beings is that we are very impatient with um with ourselves and and you know sometimes it's about Micro. You know changes and not overnight changes. Um  |  so what? I what I believe that I help people do is truly um  |  be okay. With gradually making changes in our in their lives that are pragmatic and I'm going to Also you know  |  um  |  challenge something as well. I think it is healthy to face your pain. In fact I think I think one of my.
 | 36:39.20 audraagen Oh I agree.  |   |   | 
 | 36:43.98 Nada Buhendi Big pitfalls was ah was avoiding pain.  | 
 | 36:47.31 audraagen I agree with you because not running from. It isn't helping pretending it doesn't exist doesn't help but looking at it actually gives you the opportunity to finally heal from it and grow.
 | 36:55.14 Nada Buhendi Ah.  |   |   | 
 | 37:02.80 Nada Buhendi Absolutely And I think there's a difference between pain and suffering so it is not okay to suffer suffering is a prolonged state of pain that is not okay. I was in a prolonged state of pain I was suffering because I was in the same situation for far too Long. Um and it was impacting me in a way that I was extremely unhealthy.
 | 37:38.59 Nada Buhendi So It is okay to tap into the pain that you're experiencing and use that as a signal as an indication that you need to change something so that you don't end up in a state of suffering. You know it's kind of like um. I Don't know if well give you very clear example with my pancreas I was experiencing you know signs that something was was not. You know  |  right? and and I would just go and work out and distract myself and not pay attention to it and then then it just. Built up to that day where I ended up in the hospital. Um  |  so I think people sometimes confuse let me completely avoid pain because I want to be happy all the time and and it's and and I never want to be sad and I never want to be in pain and. You know  |  being in a state of suffering and just basically surrendering to a prolonged state of pain and not doing anything about it not using it as a learning. It's like saying you know don't ever make mistakes.. That's not True. You should be okay with making mistakes. But also don't keep making the same mistake over and over again  |  use it to inform your next decisions As long as you learn from it. That's okay  |  if you don't try and make a mistake. You're not going to have the data to basically.
 | 39:06.83 Nada Buhendi Take action and and reframe what you need to do with your life.
 | 39:10.88 audraagen All of what you just said I'm going to write down and maybe make signs because that was just that's just tremendous information that I don't think we hear often enough and and you've helped so. Many people move beyond who they are today to who they want to be and what I'd love for you to do is share with us a quick story about your favorite experience with the client on their transformation.
 | 39:48.12 Nada Buhendi Oh my God That's like thinking between your kids. Yeah  |  ah.  |   |   |   | 
 | 39:48.57 audraagen I Know it's like picking your favorite child I know I know.
 | 39:57.10 Nada Buhendi Ah  |  oh my goodness.  |   |   | 
 | 40:02.10 audraagen I'll make it easier How about one that impacted you in a way that you just it took you by surprise.
 | 40:13.29 Nada Buhendi I'm trying to I'm trying to see if I could share a recent one that really really shocked me um hm.
 | 40:31.50 Nada Buhendi You know what this you know? um this person is like literally all over my my website etc and I'm trying to do justice to all of the people the hundred people that I helped but I got to go back to that person because that person truly just.
 | 40:41.73 audraagen You know.  |   |   | 
 | 40:50.80 Nada Buhendi Shifted even my business model and the way that I coach people and that is my coin heath. You know  |  um  |  when he came to me I had all these biases of. Well I don't know if he's going to be able to achieve this because he doesn't fit in this box initially and then when him and I started talking and I heard the passion in his voice and and and the amount of grit. That he has and how he put himself into self-imposed you know homelessness driving a truck and just working on a video game in between breaks I was just like my goodness. That's the kind of stuff that I thrive on because I had to go through a lot of hardships myself in my childhood. You know  |  um  |  escaping and coming here and always feeling like I was the dumbest kid in the room because. My learning style was different than the other kids I I had a very short attention span and so when he landed his job in Portugal as an agile mentor and and before that I was already seeing the transformation first it was.
 | 42:21.26 Nada Buhendi He wasn't the best when it came to interviewing then becoming the person who was working with me side by side and launching an interview boot camp and um  |  designing with me a process. That would help people intuitively learn how to tell stories in in their interviews. The guy who came to me becomes now sort of like he he becomes like ah ah  |  a coach and training in a way you know in my business and. Through him a whole bunch of people you know  |  um  |  learn our method and basically end up landing jobs including my client rashid who landed at Amazon I mean that's that's huge. That's huge.
 | 43:17.95 audraagen Is.  |   |   |   | 
 | 43:19.87 Nada Buhendi That's really huge and and he was a big reason why I got out of my own imposter syndrome and stopped thinking I'm not going to be able to help this person and that person because they don't tick all of the boxes I don't know if I'm good enough to to basically help this person lend. And he was the beginnings of me going out of my comfort zone and challenging the status quo.
 | 43:45.22 audraagen So in in many ways he was the gateway to not only unlocking his own potential but unlocking yours too. Wow that is tremendous is that.
 | 43:55.78 Nada Buhendi Absolutely.  |   |   | 
 | 44:01.83 audraagen Is a tremendous testament to if people just allowed themselves to be who they're supposed to be what they can accomplish rather than listening to all the noise on who you who we should be rather than what we were born to be because everybody was born with gifts. We just don't always use them.
 | 44:19.45 Nada Buhendi Hundred percent 100% and just stop listening to what people say about how you need to be a certain person in order to achieve that and how you need these certifications and degrees and you need to be a certain age and.
 | 44:21.14 audraagen Under Christ and.  |   |   | 
 | 44:38.84 Nada Buhendi All of that stuff. You know is just so unhealthy and so it and it it just infuriates me whenever I hear it whenever I come across it things like you need to have US experience or you need to have Canadian experience very infuriating.
 | 44:55.97 audraagen Because none of it's real east.  |   | 
 | 44:58.75 Nada Buhendi No  |  it's not and you know what happens is people end up hiding behind methods that just don't make sense. You know they go they they run after fads kind of like how people you know decide to go on a water diet or whatever to lose weight and. You know the equivalent of that in my industry is stuffing a whole bunch of Keywords because they think they can hack the system and there's magical Bots I mean it's a lot easier to believe that than than face your pain. Yeah  |  totally totally.. It's a lot easier to. To go back to your childhood Traumas that are causing you to think that way to remember maybe that your father you know was was saying to you that you're a failure and yelling at you whenever you didn't get an a um then. Actually you know it's a lot easier to to just whatever buy into a bot rejecting you than than realize that you're the one who's imprisoning yourself.
 | 46:05.65 audraagen That's that is that is such a powerful statement that you just said that how many of us actually imprison ourselves in our realities and I i. I'm looking at the time and I can't believe that we have been speaking for almost an hour because I could speak you forever. Um  |  and I know that we have lots of people listening right now that could so definitely use your guidance maybe ah use your advice even just have a conversation with you.
 | 46:22.73 Nada Buhendi Ah.  |   |   | 
 | 46:39.11 audraagen To give them the encouragement to take a leap and make micro changes in their lives that lead to big changes because I am a firm believer that little changes lead up to big steps. How would they connect with you. If they wanted to do any or all of the above.
 | 47:02.89 Nada Buhendi Yeah  |  so I have several options. Um  |  there is an initiative that I'm starting that's near and dear to my heart and I call it the $5 a month. Um  |  basically community.  | 
 | 47:20.24 Nada Buhendi I know that there are people out there who may be in a situation that is financially difficult for them to get help and I've been in that situation myself where I was dead broke and really needed coaching. But. Was debating if I should put myself in further debt or if I had a runway before I get the result so there is that you know  |  um opportunity and in that community. What I do is I share all of my knowledge. All of my resources. My entire curriculum which I filmed professionally and has my client success ah stories case studies methods storytelling how to write your resume all of that um available along with weekly live sessions. Um  |  that's definitely an option I can and I can share that so you can provide it in the resources. Um  |  there's also my website. Not abuheny.com where people can check out if they need accelerated you know help. And want to work more closely with me um on a more 1 on 1 basis and that's also definitely an opportunity and you know my team and I are very big on treating everyone with care rather than a number that's one of our business values.
 | 48:45.12 Nada Buhendi So we love to take the time to chat with people understand their pain points and provide a complementary career diagnosis. So those are you know some of the options there. You know my community is amazing. Um  |  all of ah you know the people who landed. Jobs more than 100 still you know reside in this community and the concept that I have built and created is when people lend jobs they stay in in the community and they pay it forward so that other people can learn from them so in a way um people get you know. More than 100 mentors and then one day they become mentors so that's the beautiful thing about what I've built and I feel very proud of that. Definitely.
 | 49:23.77 audraagen Exactly.  |   |   | 
 | 49:34.71 audraagen And you should be because you are changing lives and those lives will go change other lives and each of these little steps helps change the world I mean it isn't that the goal change.
 | 49:46.87 Nada Buhendi Absolutely yeah  |  we just all all we want to do is just create happiness happiness in the workplace which translates to happiness in in so many aspects I can truly say that. Um. Finding my sweet spot as a career coach and doing what I love and building products that help people learn and benefit them has translated. You know has has transformed every aspect of my life whether it's my health whether whether it's my relationships whether it's my happiness. It's all connected right? So I want the same for others.
 | 50:32.48 audraagen Well thank you for finding the way to yourself and unlocking all of that potential and Joy. So then you can translate it to helping others and I'm really encouraging those that are listening that. Need some extra guidance and some help I will make sure that you have all of the resources that you need in our links so you can contact ah nada and look at her website also get in contact with her community because you never know take a $5 bet on yourself. You'll never know. What the dividends might pay I bet you that the odds of winning are higher than buying a lottery ticket.
 | 51:16.00 Nada Buhendi Yeah  |  and it's um I mean people spend that on coffee anyway.
 | 51:19.74 audraagen Exactly so take a chance and bet on yourself. Not a once again. Thank you for spending this time with me this morning and being willing willing to be so vulnerable with us and share some pain that you've experienced in your life. So that others can learn from it as Well. So Thank you again for being here.
 | 51:43.22 Nada Buhendi You're very welcome. It's my pleasure.  | 
 | 51:44.68 audraagen So thank you to all of you for listening and we'll see again next time. Oh my God My mouse.